I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
I just watched the Dark knight, Maggie Gylennhaal looks like Katie Holmes after a stroke
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
She was so drunk yelling at me in my driveway to fuck her. It was the ghetto version of Romeo and Juliet.
you yelled "you will never make love to jesus" and then ran into the tv.
easter eggs filled with ecstasy. it's what jesus would do.
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
apparently 20 random guys watched the process of me being carried on a mattress through the dorms
come parachute off the vicodin airplane with meee
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
I keep telling myself last night was not real, not real, not real. Then I remember I can't move. This hangover is too fucking real.
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Oh I fucked him, definitely. We played Strip Halo.
He was telling me how he was trying to grow up. And then 2 minutes later, he told me he was tripping on lsd for the first time.
Randomize
