how do we leave politely?
Tell them I'm going into labor. I will spill a beer and tell them m water broke.
If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
you spent the like half the night trying to figure out the puzzles on the back of the captn crunch box
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
And then he said "good night girls" and kissed each one before I put my shirt back on
I'll be there in 5 min. If not, read this again.
friends don't put videos of other friends on youtube puking on their professor on the first day
He asked me to hum the Ghost Busters theme song as I was going down on him
Do you remember our dinosaur noises from last night ? Breaaaahhhhhppp
You could totally spank that new found Catholicism out of him.
IDK MAYBE BC I WOKE UP IN AN AIRPORT WITH A ONE WAY TICKET TO LONDON
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just made a dick pic collage. Let me just tell you,there is no comparison to the latest!
Did he hurt you? I have a crowbar I can beat his sorry ass with
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
Randomize
