I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
I just tried to text you by typing "whoa" into my contacts.
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I got hammered with my chem professor at 4:30. I'm pretty sure that can't be topped by any real sort of institution.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
You came in, yelled 'i am from the future' then puked all over the floor
Today we memorialize my orgasms. Taken from me over six months ago, gone too soon. Here's to hoping we'll see one again
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Idk, I know when I drink vodka my bi side comes out and I just want to make out with a girl
Randomize
