Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
look to my right... shes dancing like she's playing dance dance revolution and her character is a retarded, drunken moose
Standing in line for a prescreening of Alice in Wonderland - guy just passed out cold in front of us - first drug overdose of the Alice in Wonderland phenomenon witnessed.
I think we should make Neil Patrick Harris a permanent part of our role playing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
I've been practicing for you. Including stockpiling medical supplies for curing hangovers.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
It's cheaper then a lap dance and you get your hair cut.
I'm going to have to start sleeping with my keys taped to my stomach.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think it got a little awkward for her when my dad walked in on us and did nothing except leave half of his pizza on the table for us.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
Why did I ever allow that penis to enter my sacred temple?
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
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