who knew getting puke in ur hair could make it look so cute and curly. minus the crusty puke part
I just blindly shoved it in. I'm still not sure which hole I got.
Woke up with puke in my bed and my pockets full of Tootsie Rolls.
Jealous.
Sorry, can't come over. I have to spend time with my niece. Her Dad ignores her and I don't want her to have male attention issues like you.
things I have learned from cosmo today- 40% of guys are uncircumsized, you can have a beer facial, and i really need to get tested for std's
He probably has his cowboy hat on, that's his house hat.
Is it too early to say this year has been a blur?
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I just had sex with the Sheriff's Deputy. You should call me.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
Randomize
