it hurts more in the daytime
this girl looks like the female version of brooke hogan
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
Just woke up. My philosophy paper is a play, and my paper for musical theater is about physics. That's some dank shit you sold me
DONT TAKE THE KEG OUT OF THE HOT TUB I NEED A PICTURE OF ME DOING A KEG STAND ON IT
And the best part is that she's coming home to find that I completely shaved her dog.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
I need a burrito and a hug.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
He either works for the Irish Mob or I'm being Catfished
sex in a hospital.. check
Despite popular belief cocaine is not a good pre-workout
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
People probably think I’m a fangirl bc I go to so many shows but it’s really bc I like fucking the tour manager
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