ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
What happened to chicks over dicks?
That rule does not apply to 9 inch dicks..
I feel like I should come with a warning like "Orgasm free since 1983"
You know, he picked a really shitty time to stop sleeping with me to pay attention to his girlfriend.
If we ever start off with margaritas for breakfast and end up naked covered in olive oil...I could think of worse ways to spend a day.
Girl on the bus just slammed her book shut, turned to me and said "I'm way to fucking high to be studying"
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was covered in mud from my knees down, I smelt like the inside of a port-a-potty and only had mascara on one eye. . . so you know your usual Sunday brunch.
I vaguely remember ordering a water at some point last night. It's good to know drunk me can still be responsible.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
