garbage
garbage dick
rubbish cock
you win
is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
I could be wrong, but im pretty sure i jumped off the roof after my lighter.
he laminated a picture of his dick.
He ran into the room yelling "attack! Attack!", jumped on top of me on the air mattress, popped the air mattress, and then we had victory sex, because he was proud of popping it.
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
there is a video of me on Facebook getting mad at a trash bin what the fuck was in your Pepsi
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
I yelled out look at all those hickeys. And then gave her boyfriend a high five
Reading old FB posts. Why did I ever stop drinking?
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
Apparently it's not a "bonding moment" when you realize you use the same porn site as your boyfriend
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
His face will be in my vagina later so I'm willing to forgive.
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