actually, I'm a sock model
I changed my tire completely alone.. I could totally win survivor
Its my greatest physical accomplishment
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
His lack of social graces and moral fiber complements mine nicely.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
He slapped my ass... He best ask me out. Or figure out how to unslap my ass.
She is carving a little coffin out of some wood for her hamster that died. I'm flying home tonight.
I just fanned myself with my wet toothbrush to dry my mascara. Wtf
Randomize
