somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
Then, he just started shoving orange pieces in my mouth as a chaser
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
There's something odd about buying beer for the first time while wearing my school sweater from kindergarten, but I don't mind.
Those were the days I had no morals... Dark times.
Shall we take a trip back?
he was like "can i get a kiss" and i was like "can i get a taco"
i tried to propose to him with my nipple ring but i couldnt figure out how to take it out
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
He stopped in the middle of us fucking so he could turn on lithuanian techno music. And the sad thing is that it was the best sex of my life.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm still very high. To be blunt. No pun intended.
Randomize
