I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
Our foot and a bit height difference is kinda fun, except she's so tiny that after we ate burritos it looked like she was pregnant. I had a confusing bonner.
Pretty sure I sang "What Makes You Beautiful" to some random guy in a parking lot last night...
I think the 8 yr old is hitting on me and they just prayed for the salvation of third world countries
How do you explain to a guy that he's like a little puppy dog that you play with, but then leave at the shelter to go home to your German Shepard?
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
I almost tased myself
I dont think you should own that device.
It's an awesome device. I love this device.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
this is the second night in a row i've fucked a guy i met on craigslist. and it wasn't even a post for sex. i posted a housing ad. A HOUSING AD
Ok, there are marshmallows shaped like elephants
Randomize
