So tell me more about the cum that came out of your nose
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
apparently it isn't appropriate to tell a coworker who is eating celery because it's "negative calories" that a blowjob is too
I just remember looking over and seeing you on top of him and us high fiving. That's when I knew we'd be perfect roommates
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
i'm face down in a ditch right now please help this is not a metaphor for my life this is real.
I'm beginning to think that women just have dogs at home as an excuse to leave ASAP after hooking up, without sounding like a typical guy.
This is not 2004 anymore. It's not acceptable to get fingered while watching 'Ferngully' in a basement full of your friends.
Why make bad decisions when I can watch you?
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
There's even glitter on my cock...
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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