i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
I would invite you but we are high and there is an AK-47. Not your scene.
I'm honestly too sad to drink and hang out with strippers. This breakup sucks.
They both invited me to family dinner Sunday. Secretly dating two sisters just got real.
She wasnt impressed wen i brought a guy for her back with me, a 3am impromptu sperm donor is not a gd birthday present. Im a bad gf.
Bad news: I found out that girl you want has a boyfriend. Good news: she'll probably cheat on him with you. Better news: after seeing the way she treats him, that's the most interaction you're going to want with her anyway. Trust me.
I fell asleep on the bus and woke up in Italian Las Vegas. Europe was a successful continent for me.
That's like the cock version of a mortal kombat fatality.
I found your doppelganger. same hair, eyes, personality, catch phrases, and penis. it was mind-boggeling.
I just pulled a seven inch black hair out of my ass. Pretty sure that means we're dating now
Oh boy I hope we come out of this alive. And with clean prison records
The dominoes guy came back thirty mins later to ask me out. I guess he figures if I'm eating pizza alone I must have gotten dumped
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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