Sry I called you an 8
Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
It's not littering; it's giving birds nest building suplies. Besides, birds love soy sauce and plastic forks.
She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
Just sneezed out a half gram of coke into a tissue. Four hours after the fact. The bender continues.
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
I have made the descision to sacrifice the first of my family's dogs that wakes me before noon tomorrow. I may quickly become the family outcast
If a raisin and a desert had a bastard child that would be the inside of my mouth right now
Please keep in mind you are asking relationship advice from a girl who fucked a guy just because we have the same name. Just keep that in mind.
He came inside and met my grandmother after we had sex in the driveway. I love that he has a van.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
yes, i'm a douce. but i'm a high quality douche.
Coffee's working. Just killed a fly with my bare hands.\nFuck with me.
Only you would make Mario Party a contact sport.
And you owe me a new pair of switch controllers.
Randomize
