and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
wow, so sex, not that great its like masturbating with a warm towelette, like the kind you get at a japanese restaurant
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
Just saw a guy doing jumping jacks at the gym. I don't even have to create a punch line for that
Do you ever just think "I could really go for a good 30 minute blowjob". I do. Everytime jill smiles.
theyll ask where you are and ill say on a date crying in a sombrero
like that time i did too much ghb at gay pride
It was cool in an 'oh shit I'm gonna get arrested' way.
I just want you to know that we eye fucked the shit out of someone who just got drafted
I'm with the hottest fuckin fire fighter right now. I'm ready to fake my own death.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
I'm so glad we both made out with him though. I feel like that really brought us together
Where the fuck do you get consience sedatives from?
It wouldn't be New Years Eve if we knew where we would be at midnight
At the ER. John needs stiches. Fuck pub trivia nights.
I just found glitter glue on my jesus bracelet...am I really that gay?
Randomize
