so high. i feel like my whole body is a boner
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
The night started going downhill when I set my foot on fire.
I want to apologize but I don't know how. Do I just say "sorry for OD'ing on your couch"? I think that just sounds weird.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Did you catch one of my beer pong balls in your cleavage or was that a dream?
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I should be rewarded with oreos for not turning into a raging cunt.
I had to switch to male Siri because I could feel female Siri voice judging me for reading my sexts out loud. Also, the dude voice keeps me in the mood.
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
I think he's only dating me for my ass...
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
Randomize
