Hes a 32 yr old divorced sailor that calls me almost every night drunk begging me to call him big daddy. I think i might need to change my number.
he said my vag tasted like ravioli n pennies... i forgot I was on my period
and my herpes radar will keep us safe
Wait, we're on the hunt for addys and explosives. They're both in this house somewhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
It's not fair. Guys with dicks that huge should not be allowed to be catholic.
The bachelorette party was all fun and games until the strippers came. AKA you guys.
I apologize for chief "dances with dolphins" sucking on your friends foot
He was wearing a tux and a big sombrero so it automatically made the flute he was playing totally cool
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Living a little to me does not involve choreographed Michael Jackson songs
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
So his dick was definitely bigger than it looked in all the pictures he sent my daughter.
Facebook: “Hey you fucked on a diving board, you should probably should wish him a happy birthday”
They are like the regular squirrels and we are flying squirrels
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