dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Life seems so much brighter and more vibrant after you have sex with a 20 year old. It's like how Kansas was in black and white and Oz was in technicolor.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is Oprah even human
She's too awesome to dump: she gives me great blow jobs and free Popeyes. You just don't burn a bridge like that.
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when I get back.
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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