Wanted to apologize for chris browning you when you were on my computer.
I puked off the balcony.
Not horrible
Into the hottub. There were six people in it. I had eaten all their pizza.
It says i should accept HIV aids as my friend on facebook.We have 12 friends in common. I need new friends.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
the only evidence i have from this weekend existing is a title page for a novel i tried writing called "the oyster who gave up drinking"
So he might be the smartest man alive. He had the stripper pick him up taco bell on the way to the room for an extra 50 bucks.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Any chance I can buy my dignity back with $45?
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
I'm not a morning person, and, trust me, no matter how good your cock may be, it will not turn me into one.
I kept screaming at his rabbit: "IT'S OKAY, YOU CAN HAVE SOME TRIX. FUCK THOSE SELFISH BITCHES."
I guess she found the pillow case full of vomit I hid last night: "Oh my God. Oh my God. In my fucking FRIDGE?! Really? Hope your dick falls off there's puke all over my food. Fucking die."
Randomize
