The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
Everyone just saw your hickey on TV and on the jumbotron at the hockey game.
Thanks dad.
I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
She shouted out halfway through "that costume does nothing to hide your cock". Last time we let her drink at the theatre.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I am now best friends with a lesbian named Zulu. I am pretty hammered already and made a game time decision to stay here another night,for partying purposes
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
They installed a lotion dispenser in the bathroom at work... its like they want me to masturbate on the clock...
And now thanks to shrooms we all got a terrifying glimpse of what goes on in his head. I will not say I didn't see it coming when it turns out he made a suit out of people's skin
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
She was about to leave with you until you started singing "You Hoes Ain't Loyal" in her face
It was just a matte of pubes and mustard.
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
Randomize
