Maybe I lied like you did about your herpes.
its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
Please stop using the dehumidifier for your weed.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
You sent me a picture of you holding a goat then asked me if I would have day sex
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
okay the fridge is completely filled only with alcohol. Not even exaggerating. There is no food.
Sometimes I wonder if we're going to make it to 40.
So Doritos and vodka was obviously not as good an idea as I thought at the time.
Cool. I might be making a sickly but incredibly well dressed wine drunk appearance in a couple hours
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
He just got home after serving 5 years in prison. And I think I may courtesy fuck him. Best Christmas present ever.
Randomize
