she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
this party is like a fast-foward into the future when im 40 and married with children
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
I'm using process of elimination to determine which of our neighbors i fucked last night.
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
i googled waterboarding like you asked. as long as you do it outside. we have carpet. but i wont be a part of it.
At one point I went looking for you and found you handcuffed to a chair. I'm pretty sure you handcuffed yourself. I don't know how you got there.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
I'm sorry if you weren't drunk enough to be peer pressured into the naked dancing/group make out that transpired last night
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
We had sex on the tiger blanket while I was wearing my Ukrainian shirt and my ass touched the Ukrainian flag. Happy 25th Ukraine!
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Randomize
