Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
She barfed in the corner of the baby pool. Then she yelled "it's okay" repeatedly while trying to scoop it out.
She was drunk breaking up with me. All of my emails to her were coming back with UNSUBSCRIBE as the subject.
She showed up to the party with a live octopus and a 30 pack that was already half gone
Its going to be drunk as shit/pirate themed. Im dressing as the former.
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
NEVER LET ME DO THIS AGAIN I FEEL LIKE I'M GONNA SHIT MYSELF TO DEATH ARGHHHHHGHHG IS THIS WHAT DYSENTERY FEELS LIKE
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
how the hell were we supposed to out run the cops in a bus?
Okay, maybe filling water balloons with vodka was not our best idea.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
PANTIES FOUND
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
Spent like 2 minutes so far learning and 35 minutes in a group chat talking about big asses. Yet another Wed zoom meeting.
Randomize
