I got wasted for the 1st time and I sat in a fridge for 2 hours and a trash can?
My dream in life is to scissor with Ellen. I don't care if I've got a dick. I'll make it work.
Btw, I'm really high so I apologize if anything I say gets translated into arabic.
You know your from las vegas when the girl on the stage in the strip club was in my US gov class senior year
I'm trapped in whichever ring of hell is populated by inbred yokels and type 2 diabetes.
did i have both of my shoes on when the bouncer threw us out last night?
It's alright she couldn't hear you. Her legs were over her ears
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
No if my life depended on you fingering me just let me die
Sex in the corn maze.....not as good as advertised.
We're snowed in with only two condoms. This will literally be valentines day russian roullette.
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
woke up on my floor using my jeans i wore out as a pillow
haha i wouldn't expect any less of you
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
I ACCIDENTALLY MURDERED MY COUSIN
HOW DO YOU ACCIDENTALLY MURDER YOUR COUSIN
Randomize
