I was wasted and lost so I called the cops and asked for directions. It seemed logical at the time
omg theres cum all over the american flag and now its up in front of his house.
All i've done since I got back to my room today is take a three hour nap. Like, I even planned to change my pants and haven't even done that yet.
But you wanna know what the sadest part is? I had to smoke on the way back home cause my mom would be suspicious if I wasn't high after I was supposedly hanging out with you.
I was batman and I saved her. Then we had sex on a rooftop.
My first sex dream, I blew myself. Yours definitely wins.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
And your cousins porn shouldn't have been the first straight porn you watched. And for that I am sorry
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I bought a vibrating wall dildo with my tax return. You?
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
This is the third time I have overheard parents tell their children "don't be that girl" in reference to me. I'm either doing something horribly wrong or amazingly right
Love that I’m sending my uber driver a thank you message for taking me home via mcdonalds tonight before I’m messaging my date from tonight! Lol
Took my nervous poop earlier then expected it's gonna be a good day
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