I just saw a girl play flip cup with only her tongue
I'm in love
is there anything more depressing than unpacking condoms from your suitcase that you thought you were going to use on vacation?
She better not be too drunk to operate a blowtorch
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
we should drop off a car at the police station before going out tonight so we can drive home in the morning
He only likes me when I'm naked and I don't like being around him clothed. It's the perfect relationship.
It's probably because the lack of alcohol in your stomach. Alcohol kills bacteria. I am a doctor. Trust me
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
he just kept repeating "those were some pretty nipple-y tits" over and over the rest of the night
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
you know you're in deep when you watch fear and loathing in las vegas and every damn scene is relatable.
Please tell your friend to stop shitting in my closet.
just stepped out my front door and let the wind dry my naked body because I was too lazy to go search for a clean towel that may not even exist. I could live like this forever
woke up between a girl's legs. make your own conclusion.
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