I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
white shorts are a girls way of saying "im ready to fuck cuz its not my time of month"
I got to the point where it seemed like she had 8 giant breasts instead of just two
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
the room spins SO much faster in panama
Me and my vagina aren't speaking at the moment.
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
Can I write your parents a thank-you note for your huge dick?
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I was just thrown into the pool and now I'm surrounded by men... You would think this is the dream but I'm just confused
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
your marriage is hazardous to my nightlife
yea, mine too.
I just bought a slurpee and condoms. God bless America.
Randomize
