And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Thanks, college. Tonight's decisions brought to you by margs in a nalgene.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
Thank god Shes going home for winter break, gives my dick a chance to recover from those "bjs." Youd think a senior could suck a dick by now.
I just did the math. It is, in fact, cheaper to go out drinking every weekend than it would be for me to pay for a legitimate therapist. What are you doing next Friday night?
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
It wasn't so much a one night stand as much as one night she puked on my nightstand.
Just copped mushrooms from a dude in a business suit. U comin or what?
Whelp, I woke up on the front lawn this morning. I have got to stop wearing these underwear. Every time I do, I end up puking in someone's greenery.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score onr for mom.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
