I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
In retrospect, pretending to punch a 9 year old girl in the face was a terrible analogy to use in a piano lesson.
i know, but like... i wanna be a CLASSY i'm-stealing-your-date kind of slutty...
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
Hey man, I found your crocs and your visor in the road. Got em for you.
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
What? I'll do just about anything if you give me a sticker.
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