you kept yelling something about watching the muppets chirstmas carol and trying to turn the t.v. on with your car keys
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
and my attempt at hiding my drunkness from my parents included walking into the wall as soon as they let me into the house.
Eh, not fuck buddies. I prefer sexercise partner.
just remembered spooning on the cardboard and confessing to each other we had the spins.
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
she came back from her house with A paper cut , a 2liter of sprite with Bacardi , and half a mustache . we're inviting her more ofte
No longer is one of my lifelong dreams to ride in a kangaroo pouch. You have eternally ruined that for me. Thank you.
Is the party worth it?
I am drink. Beer pony and singing.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
So im waiting for someone at grand central and i look up AND THE ENTIRE BALCONY IS FILLED WITH BOY SCOUTS I AM TERRIFIED
My dick has a subreddit
Sarah was butt-chugging wine and diarrhea'd all over the wall
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
Randomize
