do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
Ordered my mom Mother's Day flowers online and moved on to internet porn. Do you think this is some sort of Freudian slip?
seriously though jaeger and i are fucking done professionally
I used the lotion his mom gave me for christmas to give him a hand job. It felt so wrong.
I won't drink with you again until you promise to not feed me anymore paper bags
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I renamed some of my contacts in my phone before passing out and I have one I cant figure out, its "fucking house elf scum"
Casually blacked out last night and apparently told him he couldn't come back to bed until he got me Taco Bell.
One minute I'm going home the next I'm getting railed on the back 9.
its as if im in a choose your own adventure book. except im not the reader and someone else is choosing my fate...one awesome decision at a time.
I could see the visible disappointment when she saw my penis
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize
