He wrote my name on his dick, took a picture and then said "this has your name written all over it!"
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
Just did lines off a tackle box. Love Montana.
is it STILL halloween? when did this turn into a week long holiday
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
I just called him "young grasshopper" in a conversation. THIS is why I don't get numbers when I'm sober
I am expending an amazing amount of energy to not throw up right now
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
Out of control sex drive for a girl? I just masturbated in the bathroom at my in-laws house before dinner....
He's saved in my phone as 'MURICA. I think it's safe to say I'm not exactly taking him seriously.
I'm not saying I would have to be high to sleep with him. I'm just saying it would probably help.
If you're wondering about the mess, we had sex in the kitchen. There was noodles involved.
Look, all I'm looking for is a good time and someone whose chest I can bury my face in
I have put on lipstick and signed up for class. Nothing more shall be expected of me today.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
Randomize
