i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Yes because finding a guy to give head to is pretty difficult.
I mean not really
Obviously that's why it was a joke you are so stupid it's impossible.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
When I was in the bathroom and wiped with a paper towel I found in the trashcan, I realized that this might be the reason I have a yeast infection.
all of the sudden, the other guy at the bar who was celebrating his birthday got a super inspired look on his face and then screamed at me ''our parents fucked on the same day!''
Heard in class today that they replaced our carpet in last years apartment because they couldn't get the smell out, dude we smoked way to much pot last year.
I feel like passing out with my foot on your face has bonded us at a very fundamental level.
We let 3 boys take us home and then we woke up in the middle of the night, stole all the coozies out of the house, a loaf of bread, a case of water, a pair of shorts, called a cab, and went home.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Summary of my night: made out with a complete stranger at a club dressed in the Geico gecko costume...
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
Their first impression of me was that I was completely naked. So yeah college hasn't even started yet and I'm already that person.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
I've Ubered to the bar three times this weekend to get my car but every time I get there I end up drinking. Still no car.
Randomize
