it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
I never thought I would get head to the lion king soundtrack
I'm telling you the guy came in bought a box of condoms and all three of the chicks that came in behind him followed him to his car. I want his life
Guy next to me at the plasma center is high and watching porn on his itouch. I am wayy to hung over for this level of poor.
I can't begin to describe what I look like walking through the grocery store with this outfit and chocolate syrup.
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
I snorted xanax while wearing reindeer antlers. Prancer gone wild. Have a merry Christmas.
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I FEEL LIKE HILARY MUST FEEL WHEN TRUMP MANSPLAINS AT HER
The couple in the apartment next to mine are both opera singers. I’m never sure if I’m hearing them banging or doing vocal warm-ups.
My liver is going to reject life during Greek Week
How many liver transplants can a person have? Bc you may need a couple
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