you freaked out because you thought your face lotion was cum in a bottle
And then he asked the cop "shall i shut off the lady gaga?" as he was being frisked.
Wish you were here....
And I wish your mouth was around my cock, but that never happens, does it?
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
I can't do a walk of shame with a sombrero full of baby chickens
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
Dude, please wake him up, there are pills all over the floor and hes the only one who knows which ones to take simultaneously.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
We were sitting outside of the building and he literally just walked up with no pants on. This is the best college ever
You should never be more than a quarter of a mile from a working toilet
Preach!
Dude we need to hang out soon. I'm in the mood to get arrested again.
Blunts beyotch
What? Joints? Blunts?
I'll refer you to my previous text: "Blunts beyotch"
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Randomize