I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
So shortly after drunk sex...she starts crying and saying..." you don't care about me, you never do anything nice for me" so I called her a cab
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
We ran out of things to say while we were playing Never Have I Ever so we started playing I Have Done This... Have You?
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
The bartender gave me the kids toys. Paddle ball & a gecko.
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
You have no idea I looked like the porno version of Laura Ingalls Wilder
Umm...sounds like a maybe. I broke my nose and have surgery next wed but if I'm ok by Friday I'm down.
He picked me up in Smart Car with the license plate “MYWHIP.” I think my ovaries shriveled up and died.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
