i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
k, so I just picked a four leaf clover, then saw my dads penis. Lucky? I think not.
twelve hours since my last beer and i just blew a .08, time to go to the library
this text is just filler to avoid a lull in the conversation
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
Found a pint glass in my snow pants.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
And on the seventh day, God carefully sculpted your cock to fit perfectly into my masterpiece of a vagina. Then he rested. Look it up.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
I don't give a shit if she's homeless, if you're gunna live outside el pollo loco and act like a bitch I'm squirting you with my water bottle
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
Only if I get to be Gritty
How would you be Gritty for a fantasy hockey league?
Don't worry about it.
Randomize
