Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
1. I feel like Jello 2. The girl i hooked up with last night isn't here and a different girl is lying next to me. 3. I have no clothes on 4. Can guys go on walks of shame?
If she doesnt understand your inherent need to teabag an emo chick, do you really want to be with her?
Bad news. Pictures just stimulated my memory and i just realized the stripper I hooked up with this weekend tasted like pizza.
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
is cock-oriented a word? I'd say I'm that lately.
We didn't have sex because he locked himself in the bathroom and passed out while he was taking a shit. I cuddled with his cat.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
There's a girl in class eating a pumpkin pie. Like a whole pie straight from the pan with a fork.
But idk if I cried about life then banged him or banged him and then cried. Chicken or the egg?
Looks like he unfriended you too. I feel like we were both just handed negative pregnancy tests.
Currently having to re-watch episodes of Lost that I've only partially seen because you distracted me with your vagina
I lost all interest the day she banged that guy in the Amazon parking lot. That's a special kinda whore.
I could be writing so much lesbian porn right now but noooooo!
Randomize
