I don't think I can get bothered with getting laid tonight
There's too many weed/neon/felt Sublime posters in this room and someone just put on a Hunter S. Thompson movie. Save me, now.
oh vodka. i could write you a sonnet.
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
there COULD be a gas leak in our house... proceeding to smoke with extreme caution...
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
That's exactly how my pussy feels when I shave it. Like a cross between a naked mole rat and a newborn child. Embrace it.
Hi. This might be awkward, but I met you on saturday at about 330 am. I have to admit I don't remember your name, what we talked about, or various details of how I got home. What I do remember is that I was invested enough in getting your number to ask my cab driver for a pen to write it down since my phone was dead. So do you want to meet, soberer, some time?
Hey bro I think you got the wrong number I'm a dude
Well my ankle is fucked up, everytime it pops I have a reminder of $200. Jager bomb night and the day we began to rebuild our friendship.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
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