Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
No, i know about the eggs and penis, the oh wow was for the fire
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
So, since you're now a four night stand, I feel comfortable asking: Did I leave my sunglasses at your house? Or my underwear?
Oh aight, and i was just going to be content with drinking, beating off and watching ninja turtles
So I've been spending my morning trying to figure out if there's a corealation between Wednesday margarita night and the boat that's now in my living room.
In unrelated news guys should not ask what I'm doing/wearing if they can't handle an honest answer. I'm not pretending I'm not sitting on the couch in yoga pants watching Community so you can beat off.
Let's just say his oral game was lacking. Hell, lacking is too nice of a word to describe it.
Have you forgotten that this whole sexy cop role play started with a comment about my mom?
Randomize
