Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
Remember when we were trying to guess how many people could fit in my shower? The answer is 7
You're being dramatic. You can calm down, or you can piss off. Either way, I ate your burrito.
Okay, good. And if you have one of those portable strip poles that would be nice too.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
The weekend is off to a good start: she just got into a verbal fight with a hobo. Nearly a fist fight.
I just had to remind myself that I'm visible in real life. Sitting in the car in a parking lot, and almost took my shirt off because the tag is itchy and I wanted it off... and you know I don't wear bras...
I'm just gonna clean the house so my Mom won't think I'm hung over. I'll just start with the toilet
Until you can top getting paid to have women tell you to check out their ass, my job will remain better than yours
For someone who wanted a break I'm getting way to much dick
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
I made out with my moms boyfriends son last night. Thanksgiving is gonna be reeeal fun!
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