You surviving the open bar?
Super asto ex polenta omaha botad
a woman just threw her tv out the window while screaming "will you fucking work now?". i'm never moving
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
she said if I bought her franzia she would blow me, and she would fuck me if I splurged on martini and rossi. Franzia it is
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
Alright we have to be drunk.before noon tomorrow. Its a new law i just got passed through congress. It goes into effect imediately
also found a pic of my head in the microwave from the other night.. hmm
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
Some drunk guy thought my knee scooter was the sexiest thing he's ever seen. He then proceeded to ask me about duck hunting and decoys...
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
So, it's been almost 3 months and and I still dont know her last name. That's gotta be a record.
Had sex on the beach last night with a drug dealer. win-win-win situation
It's like every time I'm baked I discover my fingers all over again.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
