let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
and that's when the elephants and penises started dancing on the ceiling
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
It's ok. Rob's just shotgunning upside down.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.
You're the third Mark I've fucked in that bed.
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
I feel so accomplished. I've cleaned my room, done laundry, called those places, gotten jobs, and masturbated.
I'm so proud of you.
Randomize
