My hair reeks of homosexuality.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
at this rate if someone im actually interested in likes me back im going to die of surprise before i even get to make out with them
...i had to draw her a diagram of her own vagina. including a little arrow to the clitoris. shouldn't it be the other way around?!?
Grown men dancing to Spice Girls and a girl wearing one shoe. I belong here
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
judging by the pasta sauce and dirty pans i spent my blackout being emeril
This is stressing me out. I feel like I need to eat the dick.
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
Apparently I pulled that girl's number while I was trying to insist my drivers license had enough money on it to cover the tab.
Dude I bought a 300 dollar buffalo painting. I'm no longer allowed to take shrooms.
Cancelling your gym membership calls for alcohol.
I realize my mistake but don't you dare school me in cock, young man
Just found $31 in my desk drawer. In $1's. WTF happened last night?!
Randomize
