I introduced my face to asphalt last night. They didn't get along.
How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
hey, we don't wanna leave the house because we're watching fireworks on tv. this is america.
What about the words "You're my personal dildo" made him say "I love you"?
I am currently eating pure cake frosting...I am not sure how I was ever referred to as a responsible adult.
she just took adderol and chased it w dog water
New plan for Halloween: you dress as Waldo, I'll dress as Carmen San Diego. We can just hide in a closet drinking till someone finds us.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
Two drag queens are fighting over me. And yet the night is still getting weirder
Well it's like a wise man once told me: "If you're going to shave your balls, don't do it hungover."
I just saw a girl drinking wine and walking her dog in footie pajamas and a mad hatter hat. First day of the new year and I think I'm in love.
I feel like you should put up a missed connections ad for this..
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
Randomize
