i just had a dream that i could control how black Will Smith was with a remote.i need to stop sleeping with the TV on
Just printed out my Plan B coupon at the library. Saving my own printer ink and paper as well as 10 dollars towards not being knocked up.
whispering "taste the rainbow" well having sex isn't my biggest turn on.
Have thirty minutes until my shift starts. My heart says liquor store but my future says no
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
That's right. If she can't abide by the rules then she gets booted. It's like survivor booty call edition
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
you can hold your grudge or you can accept the alcoholic treats as a peace offering. your choice
peace be with you.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
My saliva right now is around 7.6% alcohol/volume.
Haha its fine we ask know it. He's still cool thought
Focus on the keyboard man. Focusssss
I just told a guy I'm a cross of Kim K, Hilary Clinton and a dragon... He was still into it.
The ride home was alright, we hooked up in the street next to his car after he smashed into the guard rail
Tbh I would eat a grilled cheese off your dick.
Well obviously we have a ghost in the house who’s taking showers in your bathroom and doing our cocaine.
Randomize
