Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
You two kept repeating the same thing over and over. It was like looking after retarded pull-string dolls.
you thought your balls were fighting each other...
I am not kidding you. There is an airport luggage cart overturned in my driveway. We need to stop going to the airport bar.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
We could all 3 jump out of a cake in just tophats. A true marble cake.
FUCK... Pulled a chick from the bar went to her house passed out on the shitter. She lives in a house full of girls. They were making poop jokes as i left
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
Fucking holidays. How do I have this many men who want to fuck me and none of them are available when I'm ready to blow my top?
I seriously need to grocery shop. I have a slice of cheese, and alcohol.
Oh my god if I have to go on fetlife to find a guy who will fuck me right around here, I'm going to scream.
I had to dust off the condom box before she came over..
Ya that dick wasn't worth burning a perfectly good pizza.
You live and learn.
Randomize