I had a dream last night where you were a transsexual in a low cut blue dress with lovely long brown hair. You were very pretty. I hope you are well.
PS- did you die? If you did just text "dead" to me, so that I know.
question: from what angle do you give a hand job. im confused..
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
He brought me bullshit flowers and a bullshit apology. Even shrek did more than that for Fiona. And he's an ogre. Does this not say anything about him?
When a man can't even pay attention to you when you're telling him about how big his penis is, there's something wrong
The van in front of me contains people having SEX. I am in full view of a SEX VAN.
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Is he gonna be my crazy ex? Cause we weren't even together for as long as my weeklong bicurious lesbian relationship.
I feel as though my head has drastically changed shape
I'm torn between wanting to wear lipstick and wanting to make out with strangers.
Can you please stop having such an active social life? I'm tryna get fucked over here
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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