She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
How has he not realized you're pregnant?
Spanx.
i have no concept of time, i feel my nose, and im seeing everything in bitty hexagons.
So, apparently, "i expected your penis to be bigger" isn't good pillow talk.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
After we had sex he bought me grape soda. I think I'll keep him.
We have video of him nailing the sex doll to my wall and putting all the monopoly pieces in her nose
If I come back covered in mud topless and banging on your door, please have a warm towel ready for me
Pretty sure God shed a tear when I put 15 singles in the collection plate.
That sucks about the drama. But hey, it's always a good day when you see someone get tazed!
At 27 it's no longer called 'slutty', it's called having a healthy sex life...
Aka reading hardcore gay robot porn as a steady trickle of elementary schoolers walk by me every so often and im still in uniform as there councilor
Who is also still dressed up as a pirate
Oh my god the guy at DQ just gave me the number 69 and winked at me
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
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