he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
i will trade you pizza and a blowjob for a fifth of vodka.
do i get to eat the pizza while you give me the blowjob?
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
Black out Jordan is making huge strides. I didn't even pee on anyone or anything last night.
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
Just ignore the penis. It's won't bother you. I promise.
Please god tell me you aren't pregaming your date alone.
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
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