the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
He has 250 profile pictures. Of course he was a douchebag
got so drunk i was kicked out of my own birthday party and tried taking a bottle of vodka with me
idk but i have you stored in my phone as 'guy with beard doing body shots'
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
Stop inviting me to your birth control calender reminders...my job is to test its effectiveness, not know its schedule
Lmao sorry
Do you ever feel like a plastic bag?!
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
I will refer to it as the penis of glory... he fucked me for 3 and a half hours - and all he needed was a 5 minute power nap in the middle (which he took WHILE INSIDE ME). I plan on staying with him forever
I just had the best counseling appointment lets fucking rage
I just shit a hot coal. Pretty sure it's that fireball shot from yesterday.
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
He wanted me to do the rubix cube. He thought it was hot.
Randomize
