i think i want to fuck a midget just to see how difficult it would be
you know how they say when you die, your whole life flashed before you? well do you get to see what happened all the nights you blacked out?
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
this is not real life
it never is. after midnight never counts.
Getting stoned at work has never been a good idea, but im always more than willing to give it another chance
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He was literally going down on me and giving me a foot rub AT THE SAME TIME. What more can I ask for?
I need time to grow out my leg hair and not be sad anymore
I know that you sometimes make decisions based on comedic effect, but losing your virginity shouldn't be one of them.
I woke up in a front yard I didn't recognize to a grandma tapping me with her foot. What was in that punch?
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
RUDE you're the one missing half a nipple...
IT HEALED AND GREW BACK TO BE A FULL HEALTHY NIPPLE OKAY
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