she told me she was pregnant in a never have i ever game
If I had known I was gonna take my tights off and throw them over the balcony I would have shaved my legs.
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
I'm also annoyed at my horoscope for not warning me of my perils
It would be been irresponsible not to make cleaning the apartment into a drinking game
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
we got cut off at 8 am. He spilled his drink three times on the plane. this should be one hell of a vegas trip
I just want a guy that likes cats and is willing to get a vasectomy. IS THAT SO MUCH TO ASK?!
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Glad to know I rate above a cabbage on the parenting scale.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Halfway through missionary I realized I was partially laying on his sleeping dog and idk that just kinda ruined it for me sooo
did i just pee glitter
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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