You got off, kissed my dick and whispered "stay hard" to it, puked and then got right back on top of me like nothing happened...
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
Your my favorite hello and hardest goodbye.
And I especially mean that last part, half the time you pass out somewhere and it is impossible to get you to leave.
its was like we drinking an entire bottle of mystery
well we could tame deer to let us ride on them. does that work?
and then he tried plucking my nose hairs. lines were crossed.
We found him sitting in a beach chair in the basement storage room passed out. Idk if we should move him or pass the bowl around.
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
Its like I've been given a sexual blank check.
Drunk wound on my leg hast healed and neither has my dignity
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
