maybe all of them together would equal one normal sized dick.
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
And he tried to make it as casual as possible by asking where i was going on vacation while he was poundin me.
this isnt the first time ive seen her dressed as abe lincoln
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
why did you let me tell everyone that you can get herpes from the ice luge and then let me do the ice luge?
No, the weekend was great. It was the waking up in the pond in the raft without an oar that sucked. That fucking water is cold at 7am.
My drug dealer just texted me that his kid had a rough sleep and was running late to deliver the ounce to my office. Totes adorbs.
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
Pro: Drunk Portland Strip Club. Con: Monday morning hangover at work. Pro: boobs. Con: Sleep deprivation. The Pro's are winning.
I would agree. Add some coffee to the booze. It will cut down on sleep deprivation.
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
Well... I got her number now... I think she is a dish best served drunk
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
Randomize
