Apparently last night I sat at the bar with an upside down sharpie lightning bolt on my forehead, yelling "It's Harry Potter's birthday! Let me be on the qudditch team!" And I kept calling the bartender Dobby. There are videos.
I literally just watched a girl motorboat herself
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
i would eat my own dick if it were covered in nutella
My summer fucks are coming back to haunt me with a vengeance.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
And thanks to you I'm pretty sure I'm banned from every qdoba in south carolina. And cab company
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
You may be fancy. But you'll never be having cheesy garlic bread and scotch at 3am fancy.
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
A to Z: fucking your way through the alphabet
It'll be a kids book
Because talking after sexting is equivalent to cuddling after sex
Randomize
