today is my dealer's birthday. i dont know whether to give him the day off or call him saying happy birthday ill take a quarter please
And then she proceeded to fling her bra around while screaming the rocket power theme song, still managing to not fall off the skateboard
can we meet up so i can piece together the end of my night? for instance, did i jump or fall into a plant?
I wish straight boys touched me the way gay boys do.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
Its like bringing all that milkshake to the yard and I'm a diabetic and can't have any
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
All of the hungover. I've changed not showered but can't quite make it to the booze.
WE'RE IN THE RED ZONE PLAY THRU THE PAIN
We're going as conductors of the hot mess train and nobody rides for free
Our tip jar will say "just put the tip in, see how it feels"
No matter how long you've been away, there's nothing quite like pooping at your parents' house
I keep track of what day of the week it is by my recent destinations on my nav system. \nRight now it's: booty call, bar, booty call, brunch, bar, church so that must mean we are getting close to Sunday when we start the rotation all over again.
You know you've hit a new slutty low when you're simultaneously sexting and having a tea party with a 4 year old
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize