sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
They peed on our pledges last night... i dont know if i should put an lol at the end of that or not
I just found 17 dollars of saltine crackers in my room. confused incredibly. suprised not at all.
you don't seem to understand just how much pasta i spilled on my bed last night.
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
The beers last night were like the tears from god
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Hey so I just want to get straight to the point it was me who ate the last cupcake and it was your sister who I fucked last nigt
I am convinced that after two dates and a few adult sleepovers that he still doesn't know my name.
Swiping left on your brother's Tinder account is possibly the worst way to learn he broke up with his girlfriend.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
Im experiencing the awkward moment after realizing two of my straight female friends have had sex with each other
Randomize
