I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
Let's just say that the best way to get a girls attention is not to slap her on the ass from the window of a moving cab.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
By the end of the first quarter he was so hammered he was pouring beer into the crockpot with the miniature hot dogs and BBQ sauce saying he loved the supper bowl and he loves taking mini weinies to the face
I spent half an hours grinding with a drunk Harry Potter cosplayer at the con rave. Pretty sure I felt his wand.
This morning was so rough I can't even. I was cutting up vegetables for my omelet on the floor. THE FLOOR. I sat on the floor because I felt like I was gonna vom.
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
You know you need to get it together when a frat guy wakes you up and says you need to go to class
I used an emoji to tell him I was pregnant. I should feel bad about that, right?
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
I'd invite you over to drink but then I wouldn't be drinking by myself.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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