i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
I just made a moltov cocktail out of lubricant and a christmas bulb. The fire is still going strong. MERRY CHRISTMAS
he conducted the entire waffle house into singing the song Oklahoma. He was wasted.
I mean I woke up wearing my bathing suit which blows my mind
Woke up in the front yard with a chalupa and a firecracker in my back pocket. It's what the founding fathers would want
I thought that u needed a break due the fact that your nipples were bleeding
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
While the bouncer was checking my purse, he found a bag of pasta noodles in it and asked me why I put them in my purse. I said to him: "So the guy knows I can cook."
did you just say you're too stoned to fool around? okay we're over.
So the next time I call you and say I'm going to my first strip club because it's christmas eve eve, and have work the next morning, I'd appreciate you stopping me
He told me I have nice nipples. You can't just tell someone that and then leave the state!
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
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