sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
somehow on my way home with matt, I ended up straddling steve on the sidewalk and polling the people walking by on whether or not we should have sex.
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
Homegirl just dropped a candle on the floor major party foul. Thought it make you feel better.
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
I poured somre cereal, realized the chocolate to flake ratio was off, tried to fix it by digging through the box, gave up because of the difficulty level, and poured it back in the box. Being high is the best diet.
There's a naked man in my car right now.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
The only person I have to bring is crazy hospital guy
HE'S NOT INVITED!!!
I just want it to be said that I had sex in my Belle dress last night. Classy motherfucker.
call me with an emergency in 5 min. This chick has a strap on hangin behind the bathroom door.
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Randomize
