Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Hard rock hotel, wtf why am i still out, im gonna fuk 5 chix 2nite .maybe
K got coke dick during a threesome with two strippers. Say no to drugs.
but his dog just died...ill send him an edible arrangement or a 6 pack or something
just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
I don't know why I do this to myself his dick is a constant source of disappointment.
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
My life has turned into sitting in the driveway listening to Total Eclipse of the Heart while staring at the Blue Moon. Hey, August. Let's be nice. I need help.
I have a knack for carnage and poetic language.
Leave it to you to bring a trash can into a fist fight.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
He's hot, clean, can actually cook, and best of all isn't a narcissistic prick. I found a unicorn.
Ride that fucker.
I regret nothing
Not even Married Dan?
I regret one thing
Randomize
