Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
hey, here's something you don't have worry about since you're a girl: finding crusty cum in your bellybutton.
We walked because you started screaming when you finally realized he wasn't Ben Bailey and it wasn't the Cash Cab.
Just fucked my roommate on the first night of our 12 month lease. 2010 will be awkward.
Someone is gonna learn how to start an IV in the morning
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
Don't bother coming over to clean the mess. I already paid two kids 5 bucks for it, just didn't tell them you peed all over the place. You do owe me 5 bucks though
Looks like breakfast in bed is out the window. She can't get up because I "fucked her into paralysis." My stomach is not happy with my dick right now
It is way too early in the summer for me to be coming into work still drunk.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Well I had to use a seat cushion at Soul Cycle today so, yeah, I'd say the sex was good
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
There are 6 of us in a mini cooper and his maid is in the trunk...she needed a ride.
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
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