seems the shocker is way more shocking if u get the fingers wrong
your cum blends into my yellow sheets :/
I want a nosebag of coke after my exam. Like what horses have. Coked up horses. No excuses. I love you.
I WILL MAKE A FLYING LEAP FOR YOUR DICK WHEN I SEE YOU THROUGH THE WINDOW
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
Just spiked the bong with a ludens cough drop with hopes it soothes my throat after i rip it.
Dramatic love triangle! I guess mystery Asian and I will just have to fight it out for your love.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
Last night I went to spank her while she was riding me and sack-tapped myself.
I think clothing becomes optional at the second date! But you seem like a rule breaker
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
just had a woman ask me to donate my eggs so that her baby could look like me. don't know whether to get a restraining order or be flattered. thoughts?
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Hi darlin, what are you doing tonight?
.... Things I will not be proud of
My alcoholism is old enough to drink.
Randomize