I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
I was watching truelife I'm transgendered. This tranny already got a date a week after getting a vagina. I've had a vagina my entire life and can't get a date.
you texted me last night and told me you couldn't find the toilet.
That explains the puddle of pee in my closet.
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Guess the answer to the last 2 texts right and you'll get a boob shot tonight. Guess wrong and it will be a picture of a used, boogery kleenex.
My life is over. I farted in open court. Noticeably. The judge looked at me. It echoed.
I forgot to ask you how long you're housesitting. By which I mean how many bones can I get in averaging 2.5 bones per day.
20.
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
I asked him to sing a song so he couldn't hear me throwing up as he was holding my hair
I did not know male screamers existed until now. Good for him. Good for my ego.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
Turns out I tore my ACL when I fell off the mechanical bull.. Happy bday to me
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
Randomize
