Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
my mom found all the used condoms in my bed side table
whatd she say to you?
no words- put them all in a circle, put the bible in the middle
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
There's a really old guy here with a really young girl. I'm guessing he has to make choo choo train noises to get his dick in her mouth.
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
A BJ like that needs to be recommended.
If we had kids we couldn't come home, get high and watch porn together. And that's like the only reason I get up in the morning
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
I walked in on him jerking it to videos of UFC fighters. The most awkward part: he didn't stop when I walked in.
Stay home. Ain't nothing out in these mean streets but plan b and regret
they told me that it was glow in the dark and would make me magical. I was too drunk to say no. I woke up to a purple vagina.
its like a neon Im stupid as fuck sign
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
