Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
How much would it be to rent out Gus Johnson so he can announce our flip cup games?
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
I guess birthday shots aren't always the answer
Gravity stopped and i'm discussing Greek philosophy with two guys I don't know. There's someone asleep on me. We need to use their dealer.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
It took me 3 tries to get up the front steps. They kept me motivated by waving taco bell just out of my reach. Surprisingly effective.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
I know, but the fabulousness of my baggies should not be what defines my business as a drug dealer.
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
just ran into my drill sergeant from basic 4 years ago. gonna take him home and have him fuck me at the cadence of quick time.
I think I just got buffalo sauce on my penis. Is that a turn on or off?
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
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