I have nothing to say, just wanted ur phone to vibrate
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
he's my edward cullen
I am pretty sure Edward Cullen never had an all-day drinking binge topped off with some blow.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ARE YOU SAYING THAT YOU DON'T WANT TO GO TO A PARTY AT AN ADULT STORE WHERE A BUNCH OF HOT GIRLS ARE DRINKING
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
The only words I could make out were "Dicksmash McIroncock".
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