Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Santa Claus winked at me two tables over at the Chinese place tonight I was almost afraid he knew "getting laid" was my Christmas wish
look. either you want to have late night naked sleep overs or you don't. do not involve dinner and extraneous conversations in this relationship.
mid puke you looked up at me and asked if it was your turn to sing
Found a cheerleading trophy in my shower this morning. Explain.
her dad gauges his nipple piercings.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
I accidentally told my mom "the reason I didn't answer your call is because my phone was in my pants, on the floor"
Lesbians had sex in my bed last night. It's a thing of pride
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
After last night I never want to be in the back of a cop car again. No leg room.
i refuse to take responsibility for eating Chuck E Cheese pizza and having any other repercussions than the shits.
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
The cops high fived after they tackled you
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Randomize
